During a winter storm in January I found myself awake in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep. Not wanting to wake my girlfriend or our dog I moved rooms, laying down in our guest bed where I began scrolling through my phone. On twitter I came across a discussion about users favorite Jason Molina lyrics. Naturally the thread began with someone quoting Molinas most famous line, the iconic climax in Farewell Transmission;
Mama here comes midnight with the dead moon in its jaws
Must be the big star about to fall
I of course am very familiar with this line, Katie and I covered it a few years back, but a few responses down another user posted some different Molina lyrics that I had never seen before to a song I had never heard called Hammer Down:
When it's been my ghost and the empty road
I think the stars are just the neon lights
Shining through the dance floor
Shining through the dance floor
Of Heaven on a Saturday night
And I saw the light
The words seemed to jump out at me through the screen, leaving me a little startled. It’s not often that lyrics, especially when only on the page and absent of any melody or music working behind them, are that powerful.
I’ve long loved Molina but this seemed a step up even for him. It has all the makings of a lyrical masterclass with its universal simplicity and mystery - something every songwriter aims for but often misses. The words seemed to have a prescient quality to them, too, as Molina died on Saturday night, eight years after its release.
When I finally listened to Hammer Down, laying there in our guest bed, my ear pressed against the speaker of my iPhone, I was happy to find that the music and Molinas singing only enhanced the already brilliant lyrics. I listened to it on repeat as I let the songs imagery run wild through my imagination, considering, for the first time ever, that the stars outside might actually be neon lights beaming down from heavens dance floor.
When Katie woke up she crawled in bed next to me and I excitedly played her the song. Having been up for hours I was naturally a little slap happy and sleep deprived, but it felt as if my restless journey had yielded a great treasure.
When I played the song for Katie she cried, something she had never done, in front of me at least, in the seven years we’ve been together. Though I have of course seen her cry at other instances, I had never seen her moved to tears simply by listening to a new song. Her tears brought on tears of my own.
From there, Hammer Down became our new favorite song. We played it multiple times a day, both together and individually. We sang it around the house while doing chores and whenever i’d pick up a guitar i’d fumble to learn it as Katie sang harmony.
It’s fun to have a new favorite song. In fact, it might be the best feeling in the world.
*
A few weeks later I was driving alone from Memphis to Los Angeles when I stopped in Flagstaff, Arizona for the night. I had never been to Flagstaff but immediately took to it and though it was late, I did what I like to do whenever I’m in any new city; I went out for a walk.
Being alone and not having my bearings however, I found myself a little frustrated with how physically dark the city seemed. Though I often walk alone at night, never had I seen a city so absent of street lamps, and I noticed myself walking a little defensively, with my head down and moving faster than usual.
At one moment though, as I hurried to cross a street I stopped halfway to look out for traffic when I noticed a small chapel. Above the chapel was a clear winter sky with a whole cast of stars and an almost full moon. The sight was so beautiful I stood there for a while, taking in the whole scene, from the middle of the road.
Sometimes a piece of art so powerful comes my way that it makes me view the world differently than I had before. Great art, through whatever medium, has always had this influence over me and Molina has now changed how I’ll forever interpret the stars.
When I saw them that night above the chapel I felt a little embarrassed that I hadn’t noticed them earlier on. So concerned with what was happening down here on earth, I had almost missed the big party that was seemingly taking place up in heaven, it’s neon lights winking through, Molina surely up there amongst them.
*
At some point in February I made a little phone recording of me figuring out Hammer Down in a few different keys. It doesn’t come anywhere near Molinas of course, so go listen to his, but if you want to hear mine, it’s below the pay wall.
Happy March x